Facing the Truth

I hate starting this new blog off with a Debbie Downer string of posts, but I'm just being honest and truthful about how I'm feeling.

This morning, I stepped on the scale and found a number that I wasn't too happy to see. I've been hitting the wall for the past two months. My eating hasn't been as in control as I'd like it to be. I'm also not exercising near as often as I'd like to. Who's fault is that? Mine and mine alone. I control what goes in my mouth, and I decide whether I can spare 30-45 minutes a day to work out. And, the reality is that I've been making some bad decisions lately. What I'm faced with is the honest truth: I need to be in control. I *am* in control. I just need to remember that.

Back in December, I wrote a list of goals for myself. I opened that document today and looked over it. I have some pretty lofty goals, but they're my goals. My ultimate goals are:

1) I want to lose 40 pounds by the end of 2010.
2) I want to look good at my own wedding in June 2011.
3) I want to wear a single number size.

A 40 pound goal in eight months means a five pound loss each month. Totally doable. Another issue that I'm having with my body image is that I've completely stopped all my strength training: big mistake. That helped me tighten up and have some fabulous arms that I was proud to show off last summer. I want to get there again. I want to feel good about myself. And right now, that's just not happening.

This week's Glee contained this song, and, watching it last night, it really hit home. Sometimes we need to realize that we're beautiful, even when we aren't feeling our best.